Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in isha_1's LiveJournal:

Sunday, September 25th, 2005
9:41 pm	Fly in the Sky FADE IN: EXT. SIDEWALK NEAR LAUNDROMAT - DAY The BUZZING of flies is heard as ERNEST RODNEY, in his forties, a Gulf War vet walks down the sidewalk. He wears camouflaged pants, army boots, and a military shirt with the name tag RODNEY emblazoned on it. He sports a bushy moustache, shoulder length hair and wears a bulky backpack. ERNEST (swatting a fly) Flies are followin' me everywhere. Guess it's time to clean up my act. EXT. LAUNDROMAT PARKING LOT - DAY JOHN DEVINE, mid thirties, drives into the parking lot of a laundromat. He gets out of the car with a bag of garbage and attempts to open the lid of a dumpster. The dumpster has a newly attached lock on it. JOHN Shit! Mother fuckers! John puts the bag of garbage back in his car and grabs a laundry bag. He heads for the laundromat. INT. LAUNDROMAT - MOMENTS LATER The laundromat is empty as John takes his clothes out of the laundry bag and puts them in a washer. He pulls out his wallet and takes out a $5 bill. Then he walks over to the change machine where there's an OUT OF ORDER sign on it. JOHN Aw fuck! John walks out the front door of the laundromat and turns right, down the sidewalk. INT. LICKIN’ CHICKEN - MOMENTS LATER John waits in line for a few moments then reaches a MALE CLERK in his 30's at the counter. He wears a baseball cap and an apron with the logo of CHICKIN' LICKIN; a chicken with his tongue hanging out. CLERK Welcome to Lickin' Chicken. May I take your order? JOHN Could I get some change? The change machine at the laundromat next door is broken. CLERK Sorry. You gotta buy somethin’ to get change. JOHN But I ain’t hungry. I just need to do my laundry. CLERK This ain’t a bank, buddy. (beat) Next customer, please. JOHN Alright! Jeez! John looks at the menu board for a moment. JOHN (CONT’D) I’ll take the two piece Henny Penny. CLERK Classic or modern? JOHN What? What’s the difference? CLERK Classic’s got skin, modern is skinless. JOHN Classic, then. CLERK Wanna' Foghorn Leghorn that? JOHN What? CLERK Supersize? Supersize it. JOHN Nah, just regular. CLERK Anything to drink? JOHN Yeah. Just a small coffee. CLERK That comes to $1.94. JOHN Can I have some quarters? CLERK Sure, no problem. John hands him the $5 bill and the clerk hands him change. John grabs the bag of chicken and coffee. He heads out the plate glass door and makes a sharp left. INT. LAUNDROMAT - MOMENTS LATER John buys some detergent, pour it into the machine and puts coins into the coin slot. The machine starts churning his wash as he sits down. John takes the lid off the coffee and takes a sip. He pulls out the Lickin' Chicken meal, takes a bite of the pasty mashed potatoes and the overly sweet cole slaw, makes a scowl, then puts it on the seat next to him. He grabs a Watchtower magazine and starts reading for a beat until he notices a man’s dirty military boots at his feet. John slowly looks up and sees Ernest Rodney. ERNEST Hey, what’s goin’ on bro? Nice and quiet here on a Sunday. Guess everybody’s at church. JOHN Yeah. That’s why I do laundry on Sunday. I hope you got change, the change machine is broken. ERNEST No problem, I got change. (extending hand) I’m Ernest. Ernest Rodney. John gets up and shakes his hand. JOHN I’m John. John Devine. ERNEST Nice ta meet ya! Ernest takes off the backpack, opens it up and gets out a wooden divining rod. ERNEST (CONT’D) Mind watching my backpack a second? JOHN Sure. No problem. Ernest grabs the dousing rod with both hands and heads out the laundromat with the rod shaking in his path. John gets up and watches as Ernest heads across the street with cars SCREECHING to a halt with BLARING HORNS. Ernest has a crazed look in his eye as he enters through the front of a convenience store. John sits back down and starts reading the Watchtower magazine again. Moments later Ernest comes back with a bottle of red wine in a paper bag in one hand, and the divining rod in the other. ERNEST This divining rod sure does come in handy, especially on Sundays. (holding up bottle) Want some wine? A little Jesus juice? JOHN Jesus? Wine? Sure. Ernest opens the wine and then proceeds to put his laundry in a washer. ERNEST We’ll let the wine breathe a minute or two... Ernest retrieves a couple of wine glasses out of his backpack and pours wine into both. He hands one to John and they clink glasses. ERNEST (CONT’D) Cheers. Here's to a peaceful Sunday. JOHN To a peaceful Sunday. John goes to drink and notices a fly swimming in his glass. JOHN (CONT'D) (fishing out fly) There’s a fly swimming in my glass. John puts the fly on the counter. EXTREMELY CLOSE UP a fly on his back with his legs twitching in a puddle of red wine. We hear LOUD BUZZING. ERNEST That fly must be havin’ the time of his life. The fly stops moving and the BUZZING stops. JOHN Yeah. But he ain’t movin' now. He must be dead. ERNEST Flies come and they go. JOHN Guess so. (pause) That rod of yours... What else can it find? ERNEST Anything ya want. JOHN You're kiddin' ? ERNEST Nope. JOHN How 'bout a... Piece of ass? ERNEST No problem... Here. Ernest hands John the dousing rod. John grasps it in both hands as it trembles and leads him out of the laundromat. EXT. SIDEWALK NEAR LAUNDROMAT - MOMENTS LATER John heads left down the sidewalk for a few yards, then CLOSE UP we see the tip of the divining rod poke an OLD DONKEY on his ass. The Donkey turns around, stares at John intently, winks, and then shows his huge teeth as he speaks. DONKEY Ya wanna' date! John does a double take. Then with a bewildered look on his face heads back to the laundromat. INT. LAUNDROMAT - MOMENTS LATER John enters the laundromat holding the dousing rod limply in his hands. ERNEST Well? Did you find yourself a piece of ass? JOHN Yeah. But you better keep this thing. John hands the dousing rod back to Rodney and then looks at counter where the fly was. There's only a small puddle of red wine left. JOHN (CONT’D) What happened to the fly? ERNEST Guess he was only dead drunk. He sobered up and flew away. JOHN He drank the wine, came back from the dead and then flew off? Ernest toasts John. ERNEST Yep, John... That’s your Sunday school lesson for today. John takes a bite of his chicken then swats a fly SMACK on the counter. JOHN Damn fly was lickin' my chicken! ERNEST A fly is a fly, John. I know it ain't politically correct, but ya gotta' swat one from time to time. Want some more wine? JOHN Sure, Ernest. Ernest pours some wine into John's glass and they toast. ERNEST Here's to the fly in the sky! Spirit in the Sky by Norman Greenbaum plays as the credits roll. FADE OUT. **** (1 Comment |Comment on this)
9:37 pm	Insane One Night Stand FADE IN: INT. DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE BAR - NIGHT A upscale bar in downtown Asheville, NC. FILMMAKER plays himself behind the camera. We never see his face only hear his voice. He is at the bar about to order a drink. CLYDE, 45, sits next to Tammy, 30, a blonde beauty. FILMMAKER (O.C.) Bartender, I’d like a gin and tonic. CLYDE Let me get that George. I want to introduce you to someone. (beat) Another one for you Tammy? TAMMY Yes, please. CLYDE Tammy, this is my filmmaker friend George. TAMMY (extending hand) Nice to meet you, George. FILMMAKER (O.S.) (shaking hands) The pleasure is all mine, Tammy. TAMMY You’re a film maker? What kind of films do you make? FILMMAKER (O.C.) Dramatic mostly. Occasionally a documentary. TAMMY Like reality TV? FILMMAKER (O.C.) Something like that. So tell me about yourself. TAMMY I don’t know where to start. (beat) I’m a Pisces. (beat) I work as a psychiatric nurse who handles the criminally insane. FILMMAKER (O.C.) What a coincidence, I’m a Pisces. (beat) You have such lovely hands. CLOSE UP Tammy’s hands holding drink. FILMMAKER (CONT’D) No one would ever think you handle the criminally-- TAMMY Insane? I know. (beat) I like you. Finish your drink. This place is boring. I’ll take you home with me. We’ll watch a video or something. FILMMAKER Sounds good to me. Filmmaker downs his drink as we CUT TO: I/E. CAR - NIGHT Tammy is behind the wheel of her car. She’s drinking vodka out of a quart bottle as she drives at high speed through mountainous roads. The SCREECHING of tires is heard as she races through hairpin curves. TAMMY Have some vodka. It’s raspberry flavored. Bottle is handed to Filmmaker. FILMMAKER (O.C.) Thanks. TAMMY I like the feeling of being scared by driving too fast. It makes me wet and horny. (beat) ‘Course I was much wilder when I was young. The roads in Virginia are a lot more scary than these. (beat) Pass that bottle back over here. The Filmmakers hand and arm is seen as he passes the bottle back. FILMMAKER (O.C.) Sure. TAMMY Know any drinking songs? FILMMAKER (O.C.) No, I don’t. TAMMY (takes slug off bottle) I know one. (singing) Hundred boyfriends on the wall. Hundred boys on the wall. Ya take one down and pass him around. Ninety nine boyfriends on the wall! (beat) I gotta piss. (pause) I once pissed in a paper cup rather than stop to go to the bathroom. You know how hard it is to piss in a paper cup when you’re a girl? FILMMAKER No, I don’t eh-- TAMMY You boys can aim that tool of yours into a cup. I had to lift my ass off the seat and put the cup under me. I don’t think I ever told anybody about this so keep it a secret. (beat) I gotta piss. The car comes to a SCREECHING halt in front of a country house. TAMMY We’re here. I gotta piss. Follow me. EXT. COUNTRY HOUSE - NIGHT Tammy runs up to the house, unlocks the front door and rushes in as the filmmaker observes then walks with handheld camera toward the door. INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT Tammy is on the left side of the bed with a hot water bottle on her stomach and a glass of vodka in her hand. A TV blares big time wrestling in the background. TAMMY I would have to start my period now. Thank god for the vodka and pills. (beat) It came early this time or I didn’t keep track of the days. Why should I keep track of the days? I gave up sex. Maybe I should get on the pill. (beat) Hand me the remote. The filmmaker hands Tammy the remote. FILMMAKER (O.C.) You don’t like wrestling? TAMMY That stuff is so fake. Not like wrestling with the criminally insane. FILMMAKER (O.C.) You do that? TAMMY Sometimes I have to. (pause) What a period. Maybe I should have a hysterectomy. But I’d hate to go under the knife. Probably won’t reach menopause until I’m fifty, another 20 years of this hell. (pause) What’s that? I like that show, but I don’t like that clown. Clowns scare me! A clown is on the TV as we hear a dog HOWL. FILMMAKER What’s that? TAMMY My tenants dog. She must have gone out. Dog HOWLS again. TAMMY Damn, I guess I’ll get the dog. CUT TO: A large dog licks the hand of the filmmaker from the side of the bed. FILMMAKER (O.C.) Friendly dog. TAMMY Yeah. but he’s almost dead. He’s got arthritis and cataracts. My new tenant is in denial about it. (pause) My last pet was five years ago. It was a mouse. Tears still come to my eyes when I think about that little mouse and how he died. (starts sobbing) I can’t keep a pet or a boy friend! (grabs tissue and blows nose) My new tenant, she’s nice. I’ve had some strange roommates. (takes drink of vodka) I remember Frank... He was always hitting on me but he had these teeth that stuck out sideways. Looked like Halloween teeth. He also smoked and drank a bottle of red wine every night. That’s what really put the polish on those teeth of his. He drank one of those regular size bottles, not one of those liter and half big boys that I can put away. (takes another drink of vodka) Wonder what happened to him? He was going to open a restaurant. Can you imagine anyone eating in his restaurant? As soon as he’d smile at a customer, they’d want to throw up. (drinks more vodka) I knew a girl in high school. She was beautiful except her teeth stuck straight out. You would have thought her parents or somebody would have sent her to an orthodontist. (takes another sip of vodka) I feel better. Getting sleepy. Gotta be at the airport early. Mom’s dragging my father to Texas to a missionary convention. I’m flying off to Massachusetts. My sister is marrying her girlfriend and I’m the bride’s maid. (takes last sip of vodka) I’m fadin’ fast. Tammy falls asleep with LOUD SNORING as we CUT TO: I/E. TAMMY’S CAR IN FRONT OF BAR - DAY Tammy is behind the wheel and saying goodbye to the Filmmaker. TAMMY See ya, sailor. FILMMAKER Will I see you again? TAMMY Maybe... Call me... Did we have sex last night? I was so drunk I don’t remember. FILMMAKER I did. I don’t know about you. The Filmmaker closes the door to the car as Tammy winks then drives off. FADE OUT: (Comment on this)
8:40 pm	Cosmo I once had a dog named Cosmo. I named him that because he stretched the cosmos of dogs. His mother was a Dachshund named Heidi and his father was a Great Dane named Cedric. They mated with Heidi on the steps above Cedric. That was funny enough, but then she had four puppies. Three had heads like Dachshunds and bodies like Great Danes. Number four had the head of a Great Dane on a Dachshund body. I gave the first three away and kept the last. That one was Cosmo. When he ran he struggled with his little legs and feet, to keep his big head off the ground. When he sat in the car all you could see was his head. People thought he was a big Great Dane guard dog. He disappeared one day. A friend told me someone in the neighborhood was poisoning dogs. I guess they didn’t share my fascination with freaks. (Comment on this)